Journey of a Conscious Entrepreneur


A business mentor once said to me, that as the CEO, the only thing that will kill your business will be you. I believed her because, as a somewhat conscious entrepreneur, I know that my actions and attitude effect everything and everyone in my business. I also believed, somewhat naively, that I had this under control, as I do a lot of personal development work.

Boy did I get a shock then, when after 1 year, I’d nearly bankrupted the business and had to let go of the team!


Making Decisions

We had launched our new myTOM platform and I wanted to make it a success. In the back of my mind though, I was aware we did not have a strong marketing strategy or anyone to actively attract customers. I started to panic and make rash decisions about bringing on people who could help me engage customers.

I started to ask around and found a few different people who could do bits and pieces, and so, thinking it was better than nothing, I engaged their help. All of a sudden, I had several people all trying to help and we went into a kind of mania. Activity was happening but it was random and disjointed, so I pushed everyone harder to get better results.


The Inevitable

After a few weeks, I felt drained. I was no closer to a marketing strategy being effectively deployed and customers being delighted with our product. Instead, I had created confusion. Worse still, there was dissension in the ranks, arguments between staff and customers being ignored or badly treated.

This mania and diluted energy and focus also meant I was not delivering as a CEO by bringing investment into the company. I had to face the facts. I had run out of money and I had the wrong team members, and we were working in the wrong ways.

While I thought I was being decisive and moving fast, I can now see my decisions were poor and driven from my own ego, rather than from the vision and values of the company I was building.


What can we do to stay Conscious?

Conflict is the best tool for self-awareness. Whether you are in conflict with someone else, or in your own head, you are being triggered by your own ego.

This is the time to stop and look at what is coming up for you. Not your thoughts and feeling and what you want to do to resolve the conflict, but rather what is the underlying reason that this is triggering you. When you see the real truth behind your actions, you then have a choice.

For me, my thoughts were telling me to find people who can help me, but what I uncovered about myself, was a deep-seated fear. I realised that deep down, I believed no one could or would help me. So, while on the surface I was asking for help and looking for it, I was actually creating situations that would ultimately reinforce my believe that I could not be helped.


How to turn it around

Once I recognised the real driver behind my behaviour, I knew I had a choice. I could keep buying into my own story and create new situations to reinforce this belief. Or I choose a higher perspective and focus on what I would love to create – a collaborative business which serves practitioners and their clients in conscious wellbeing.

This choice is open to all us, all of the time. But we can only have a choice if we truly look at the drivers behind our behaviours and then actively use our will to take the energy out of these thoughts and behaviours and re-focus it towards what we truly love.

Now, I am happy to say that I have created a true partnership in the business. Together with two of my closest friends we are committed to holding the vision and values of our company and take action in their favour, and not buy in to the stories of our egos.